DEVOTIONAL 51: NEW YEAR: JUDGMENT VERSUS INDIFFERENCE

I attended a Bible study on Tuesday nights last summer taught by some young women who challenged me and taught me and inspired my walk. We were assigned a table of women to go through the study with, and my table has been authentic and loving toward one another since the first night we met. We were sharing prayer requests recently, and I shared that I desired God’s help with what I observe. With all the beautiful, amazing things God is doing all around me every day, I can sometimes notice the unlovely more.

Last week, I was with another group of women and someone made a negative remark; then two other women commented in agreement (We have all been guilty of that, right?) The remarks took a gathering that had been marked by unity and adoration of Christ in a different direction. I went beyond not joining in the critical words of others to being critical myself of those who did join in. I wish I had not noticed. I wish I had been so focused on the dozen sweet and exciting things that were happening in that room and had let what was said just not even register in my memory.  My favorite version of this command is the King James Version:

 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

I was allowing my mind to think on the unlovely.

The morning after I had asked my Tuesday group to pray for me, my daily Bible reading included Psalm 12. That chapter comes out strongly against words from the double-hearted, speaking words of vanity with your neighbor, and errors of the lips. I questioned the Lord on this and was wondering if perhaps I had not been wrong to react to the critical words I had heard. After praying and thinking about this more, here are some conclusions I have drawn:

1.    Isaiah 5:20a says, “Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil.” So I would have been wrong to condone what I heard. It was not wrong of me to have noticed something that was Biblically out of order.

2.    The tricky part comes with what we do with an observation like that once we see it. There are definitely times we are to go to our sisters (after MUCH prayer) and say, “I know your heart and that you seek the Lord. I want you to tell me when (not if) I say anything that does not reflect Christ or my walk, and I hope you will want me to tell you the same, because I love you and I admire your walk.  I want us to be iron sharpening iron in each other’s lives (Proverbs 27:17.) Because of that, I felt what you said yesterday contradicted Verse X. Let’s pray about it and see what the Lord tells us.  And let’s talk about it when it is convenient for you.” There is a very good chance the Lord has already convicted her of the problem. There is also a good chance that you will not receive the response you desire. That is okay. If, and only if, God prompts you to go the person in love and speak the truth, you must do it. You both will grow from it.

Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

Ephesians 4:15

3.    At times, however, the Lord has told me that my opinion or observation of what was said is unwanted and unnecessary. It is not my job to convict or to even weigh in when the issue is between the Holy Spirit and the other person. Knowing the difference between these situations and the one described above in #2 requires much prayer.  Being a teacher for forty-five years makes it too easy for me to be “instructive.” Ecclesiastes 3:7-8 says there is “a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.” He will often tell you to be silent.

4.    Whether I mentioned what was said to the people involved was not the issue in this case. My heart was the issue. I came to believe the Lord was convicting me of pride and judgmentalism. Dwelling on the sin of others is a misappropriation of my time when I have plenty of my own sin I could be talking to the Lord about. And He is well capable of getting their attention through the amazing work of the Holy Spirit. Though it was not a sin to know the Bible well enough to know that what was said was a sin, it was a conversation between the Lord and them that was needed. In other words, it was none of my business in this case.

5.    Finally, the Lord showed me a sort of continuum related to guilt and conviction of sin.  This continuum shows a range of how people look (or don’t look) at their sin. It ranges from people who dwell too much on looking backward at forgiven sin and may have false guilt to the other end of the spectrum of people who do not acknowledge sin. The continuum looks like this:

1…….…..2……….…3……….………4…….….……5…….……..…6………..…7……….....8….…...…9…………10

Do not               Need to be      PERFECT       Take time from               False  guilt; acknowledge   listening to the                          worship & service              Legalism;       many sins         Holy Spirit more;                       thinking about sins       Self-abnegation   not highly                                 God already                                         aware of own                           forgave                                                 

Because one of satan’s ploys in my life is to cause me to dwell on my actions and stir up false guilt, I at first thought that perhaps I was not wrong in the case of my reaction to the words of the women in the meeting.   But after some prayer, I realized that I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit over my own sin. Though I had not repeated what happened or criticized the women, I had wasted valuable time and energy telling myself how regrettable their remarks were. That was not my place this time.    Also, I could feel my very fleshly response, and it was not Christlike. By now, unfortunately, I know what it feels like to have my flesh rise up and distract me from being led wholly, purely by Him.

It is a wonderful thing for God to reveal your sin to you. It is the beginning of freedom from the hold that particular sin has on you. It is a wonderful thing to know that you are not responsible to convict others. Yes, we speak the truth in love when our hearts are pure and the Lord leads us that way, but we do not need to weigh in on social media or in conversations on everyone else’s sin.

Why do I post this blog so close to New Year’s? Because this is a sin I want to pray about and ask God to rid me of in the coming year.  I want to grow stronger in resisting the temptation of observing the behavior of others more than observing my own wayward heart. I want to entrust my brothers and sisters more to the Lord. I want to be so busy engaging with Him as he deals with me on my sin that I do not look sideways at anyone else’s, unless I am responsible as a family member or in some other role to deal with the sin.

If you decide to use the continuum above to examine your own sin, keep this one thing in mind: We can be very sensitive to some kinds of sins such as lying or adultery, even to the point of having false guilt; yet we might have another type of sin such as gossip or excess that we have become insensitive to. Consider that as you try to decide where you fall on the spectrum.

Other verses about keeping silent:

Ephesians 4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.

Proverbs 10:19 Transgression is at work where people talk too much, but anyone who holds his tongue is prudent.

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble

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